another moral hangover. fuck.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
