Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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