For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
