she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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