I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
