he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm both gender and math confused
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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