"it" just moved
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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