Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
