Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
