Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize