Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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