I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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