Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
