I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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