Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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