please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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