I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't think brook has ever known best
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
