She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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