Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
