i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize