pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
