Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
