Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
