Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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