Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
