I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
