Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
