I bet he comes in French.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
