Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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