why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize