i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
