I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize