No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
