She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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