I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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