did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
