Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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