I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This girl is more easily done than said...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
