That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
