literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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