Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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