Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
