He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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