If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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