Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Randomize
