how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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