I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She's the barista slut.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
