i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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