small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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