Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Houston, we have a blender
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
