I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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