If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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