He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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