i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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