so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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