Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
