it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
