I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
