i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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