I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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