Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
