My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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