She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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