Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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