there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
