Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
