I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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