hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
